I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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