i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
