Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize