Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
