Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
