If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize