We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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