i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
