So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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