Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
