I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
