this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She bit a glass in half.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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