that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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