Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
