Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
