my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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