i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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