awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
