just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
