Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
