one two three fourrrrnication!
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
