So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
