Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize