Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
