I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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