SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
