That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
