I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
