Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize