I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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