she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
