maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
