Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
