Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
