The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
