new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
