Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
