I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize
