i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
