these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
