Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
