3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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