you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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