I want to walk on stilts...naked
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Holy shit dude........stairs
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
