Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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