I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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