these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
