My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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