Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
