you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
not ubering you a puppy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
