Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
