I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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