Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
