Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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