I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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