We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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