please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
